I asked her out. She was happy. I saw joy, her reply was a smile. But the words that came from her mouth were totally discordant to the pleasing expression on her face. She told me she was not just engaged but seriously engaged. At that moment, I automatically amassed hate strong enough to kill someone I had not even met yet. Sadly, I wanted to oust God out of His seat. This was my wicked thoughts because I felt like causing her husband to be‘s immediate extinction from the universe in case I had that power to do so. I simply found reason to the actions and inactions of wicked men who killed for love and lust. But I thought about the whole situation one more time and realised that once she was taken, there was nothing positive or right I could do to get her. With further thoughts, I told myself this, even if she is able to leave him for me with ease, that will potentially guarantee that she will do that to me in future when a ‘stronger in everything I have‘ guy comes into the picture. I accepted the reality and it has made me better. Reality revealed what could’ve blinded me. It has prevented a potential marriage heartbreak (divorce). It has prevented my posterity from having to suffer the cruelty of a broken home and most of all, it has prevented me from living in the falacy of joy, rather than living in the eternal benefits to be gained from living right in the pain of truth. It was a hurtful experience but I learned from the hurt and its made me a fan of Kelly Clarkson. I was not Ed Sheeran with this issue, for what didn’t kill me made me stronger. This is my pain but most of all, my confession in reality. In fact, it is a testimony I haven’t benefitted from yet but truthfully know in my heart that I have escaped the unseen hurt of the future. Saying No to James Blunt‘s sadistic heartbreak tunes for Taylor Swift‘s mocking heartbreak songs wasn’t an easy step for me to take. I hope other people who have fallen or unfortunately stand the chance of falling for a love that can not be exemplified with reciprocity will learn from my little experience.
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