People who usually patronise the services of commercial vans (locally known as Trotro), or embark on long trips and excursions with many others may be able to relate with this. You are more bound to be cursed on a single day. A day where one sitting next to you dozes of uncontrollably. And if you are more cursed, salivary fluids may emerge from the sleeping beauty’s buccal cavity. But if you are luckily strong beyond the curse of having to put up with vehicle dozzers regurgitating to your discomfort, the speed bumps might come to the rescue. The fascinating thing I love about speed bumps deals with their ability to go beyond their basic purpose of slowing down vehicles, thus to progressively kill speed that kills thousands using roads. An extra ability comes in this way; In a trotro, there is no discrimination on the enjoyment of bouncy castles because of the presence of speed bumps. No one is going to prevent that fun (but in most cases for adults, seen as disturbing because of the escape of childhood) children enjoy when there is a sudden bump.
Speed bumps have another ability, my most favorite. Its even the reason for this post and that’s the ability to always awaken that dozing person by you who is so uncontrollably aimed at adding you to their resting bed. When I was heading towards Accra from Tamale after my late Aunt’s funeral rites, the speed bump became my best friend. My distant uncle was busily having his fun just as anyone intoxicated with propofol, it became so bad that he started salivating unconsciously. And it became obscene to me when his head suddenly rested upon my shoulder. Now, one might say that I should have tapped him if I really needed that to stop but that can’t be always easy. There is some form of embarrasment and awkwardness with trying that conflict resolution. But I met my savior, let’s say my Jesus was a speed bump. I didn’t need to tap man sleeping by me incessantly because the sudden noisy blow produced as the vehicle bumped upon my friend did the work. It woke him and woke and woke him up at every instance of a speed bump until he stopped sleeping because he simply could not take bumps any longer. From that moment on, I came to realise how good the existence of speed bumps could be to humanity. It sometimes knocks off the unconsciousness in a person. It makes them actively vigilant. And so, I usually sing my modified version of a Catholic Hymn after noticing a speed bump around the corner;
All Hail The Power of Road’s Speed Rams.
Let Sleeping Niggas Rise.
Bring Forth The Royal A-Larm
And Crown Rams Lord Of Asphalts
Achaab Daniel ABALANSA