Valz day, Valentine’s day. What comes to mind when we hear those? Love, red, unlimited sex, chocolates, fun, glasses, beaches, wine and maybe liquor, candles, resorts, teddy bears, mindless behavior, restaurants, sleepovers, roses, hotels, dinner, money, casino, hampers, surprises, heartbreaks, heart mends, memories, hurt, condoms, loneliness, charity etc, you can add a few more depending on your own individually inspired experiences. The definition of Vals day has stretched into many outskirts as years went by. Valz day is now what we make it. And if there is an absolute value on St. Valentine’s day, it’ll be ♥LOVE♥. Thus, everyone gets to act in anyway depending on their own conceptualization of love.
Valentine’s day actually started as a celebration in church purposely in remembrance of possibly, a couple of christian saints named Valentinus. It marks the death of a saint called Valentine who lived and died for the love of a group of people. A popular account of Saint Valentine of Rome states that he was imprisoned for performing weddings for soldiers who were forbidden to marry. During his imprisonment, according to the very same legend, he fell in love with the daughter of his jailer, Asterius and before his execution wrote to her a letter signed “Your Valentine” as a farewell. So the history of valz day is tied to the church, but times have changed and now, all and all get to share love on this day. Why are we all poised to celebrate this day regardless of religion, race, worldview or creed? It’s because we all love in a way or the other. But there seems to be a little problem somewhere in the corner of Valz day. We have evolved this celebration so much that it has an exclusive attention on couples which also adds a problem on misconception. No, no, no. Valentine’s day is not meant for only couples or those in sexual relationships. It goes beyond that. In fact, one can celebrate this day alone by taking into consideration Justin Bieber‘s “Love Yourself“.
Please don’t fall victim to Joan Bauer‘s plight in Thwonk.
“It was February sixth: eight days until Valentine’s Day. I was dateless, as usual, deep in the vice grip of unrequited love. It was bad enough not having a boyfriend for New Year’s Eve. Now I had to cope with Valentine datelessness, feeling consummate social pressure from every retailer in America who stuck hearts and cupids in their windows by January second to rub it in.”
Its good to be alone at times. Thou shalt not force yourself into something not worth it. Now this is the point. The moment we focus on love and not the sexual intimacy between couples, it kills the loneliness single people feel on this day. It makes the day memorable for those outside the confines of 2 and it brings joy to all no matter what. So to the single ones out there, what do you find joy and love in apart from the opposite sex? If possible, carry your own self to the mall or your room and reflect upon the better you. I bet its worth it. You are not going to die? You’ve made it to this point single. Be free. No chains to give you limits beyond your control. Its that simple, Love Yourself!
Now, one may ask, Is Valz Day necessary? Of course it is. Its as good as any holiday but stands the very same threat all holidays face. It’ll be wrong to wait for a particular day (say, 6th March-Independence Day) all year to do the right thing (thus, to be a responsibly patriotic citizen). You don’t need to wait till 14th February to outdoor your love. Remembering this day is a good thing for all who love and want to be loved. But make loving normal to reduce the very risks created by our own flawed over-expectancies that tend to break hearts when things do not go as planned. Thus, if loving you is normal, I’ll be so used to loving you so much that I will not necessarily need a day to validate that. So for remembrance sake, we can long for Saint Valentine’s day but let’s not restrict our loving and exclusiveness to it.
So this begs the question; Are we celebrating Valz day well? No one can perfectly answer this apart from you. We are different and find different reasons to love, different things to look out for in love and all fall in love with different stuff. That’s why you’ll see Bob addicted to weed and Amy to alcohol. This takes us back to initial thought “everyone should celebrate Valz day based on their own conception of love“. So have fun, in whatever way you want to, but have fun with this in mind. That there are about 7 billion people in the world who will make the world unbearable if they act directly according to impulse motivated by desire without taking into consideration the social context of life. And don’t let that day carry you away into boundaries you will not have in your right senses and willingness set up to. Love, have fun and chill out!
We need us to make Valentine’s Day memorable.
“Love doesn’t grow on trees like apples in Eden. It’s something you have to make. And you must use your imagination too.” – Joyce Carol Oates
(Initially posted in February’s newsletter on 2EweBoys)
Achaab Daniel ABALANSA